Issue #37

INSTAZAP Recalled!

Attack StarbaseFor once, starbase regulators finally followed through on their word. Their word? That the INSTAZAP protection systems protecting all starbases around the universe would be removed. Now this was a bit of a blow to starbase owners. Never before had they really had to worry about starbase protection. With INSTAZAP, even the largest ship could be disintegrated in fractions of a second.

However, the regulators were sympathetic to the cause, and replaced the INSTAZAP system with a series of heavy defense artillery (HDA) units. Although not QUITE as formidable as INSTAZAP, the four artillery units were more than a match for any single opponent attempting to engage a starbase. [OOC: Just as an FYI, it’s theoretically possible for a SINGLE HDA to inflict 2720 damage in a single round – although high level fighters will take much MUCH less than that – a few examples showing 5% hit rate by the HDA’s]

However, just the THOUGHT of vulnerability brought fighter and bomber pilots out of the woodwork. Pilots began thinking about the possibilities of taking over or destroying enemy starbases – and more importantly – the glory of being in on this attack. Squadrons began forming, and were soon seen on many starbases – ready for hire for the price of a few weapons and a few credits.

However, taking out a starbase looks to be no easy task. Hundreds if not thousands of fighters and bombers will be needed to take out even a standard starbase. Even so, there are those that can’t wait for the opportunity to test their prowess. Interesting times await.


Once A Pirate?

PirateFrom time to time, pilots find the need to prove their worth using less… legal means and began shooting/taking stuff as they can. Obviously, the lawful citizens of the universe take offense to such unlawful measures and classify the individuals as pirates. However, from time to time, the opposite happens as well. Pirates, tired of the life of being hunted, shot at, destroyed, and living life from day to day ‘retire’ from piracy.

But the question always goes out: Once a pirate, always a pirate? After having been classified as a pirate, it seems to be quite difficult to remove the stigma. People hold grudges for past actions and the actions of the pirate are scrutinized to a much higher degree than other individuals throughout the universe – despite the rationale behind any questionable actions. It’s also been noted that during some pirates’ ‘quiet’ times, they are busy building up wealth, skills, or xp for the next go round of piracy.

So for all those pirates that claim they are redeemed and have ‘retired’ from piracy: Are they to be believed? It’s a tough call that needs to be looked at on a case-by-case basis. We’re all better off if they happen to be telling the truth – and all worse off if they aren’t.

I wish good luck to all retired pirates.


Federation Hostilities

Federation and EmpireThere seems to be a trend of hostility towards the Empire from several small Federation alliances this week. First, it looks like Paradis and his AWC attempted to prove his mettle with a few raids into the Empire. Unfortunately for Paradis, the welcoming committee was quite prepared for Pardis’s arrival and quickly sent him home in his escape pod. Another attempt resulted in the same results. It seems the universe is a bit more prepared for the Doomstar since the last time Paradis roamed the expanses of space.

Other hostilities showed up in Rashkir space where Shaitan, the leader of Kehage declared war on ORB for their support of ‘claiming’ a sector around an Imperial starbase in Federation space. However, it seems that Shaitan had no better luck than Paradis as he was quickly shot down by Shini of ORB. However, the resolve seems to be there. Shaitan has claimed he will continue to destroy ORB pilots until the starbase is removed. This looks to be either a nuisance, or a very long campaign.

It will be interesting to watch.


Letter FROM the Editor:

Most of the times, I take my criticism like an editor should. I don’t have all the facts, missed a detail, showed someone in a poor light, didn’t have enough description, or what have you. But every now and then, comments fly past that I simply have to address. Such is the case today regarding some comments that were picked up by my 24/7 chat monitor. That’s right, you never know what might be overheard during late night chats in general chat.

Anyway, the news monitor picked up a few comments regarding the Tribune. To protect the guilty, I’m going to pick out a random name to use as our perpetrator – let’s use, oh, I don’t know, Jimmy Saville. Sounds like a good name for an anonymous perpetrator.

Directly from general chat, Jimmy here says that “I read a lot of that [the Tribune]. It just sounded like someone with too much time on his hands or well and truly into this game.”

I’d like Jimmy to know that the Tribune reporters take offense to this comment. Reporters from across the universe spend endless amounts of time tracking down the latest galactic wide developments to get you the news! They sacrifice time, money, family life, and often their lives to bring YOU the news that matters to you. And you think this is just a game? Sorry Jimmy, this is more than just a game to these reporters.

Let’s take another comment from Jimmy: “I’ve read the Tiacken Tribune. It’s very good but very sci-fi.” Well, first of all, thank you for the compliment. There is hope for you yet, but very sci-fi? We live in a universe that includes starships, other alien races, lasers, space dragons, missiles, explosions, wormholes, pirates, bio-spore arrays, space leeches, X-993 fighter squadrons, space flux, and implants – and you’re saying the NEWS is sci-fi? I’m not exactly how much more “sci-fi” the news can get…

Now, the comment that really just wants me to break down and cry, Jimmy states: “I wanted to know that facts, not someone’s imagination.” Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy…

The Tribune never simply CREATES the news. Alliance stories are soundly researched before printing – often from multiple sources. Additionally, we go beyond the galactic wide news announcements. Let’s take last week’s issue for example. You can find the galactic wide new source here. Last week, the galactic wide announcement stated that: “The baby boom in Ericon I ended.“ That’s it. Is that news? No, that’s not news, that’s just a statement, a fact. The reporters from the Tribune delved into the story to find out exactly what happened and why! You won’t get THAT from your galactic wide news source. To think we just make this stuff UP?!? That’s an insult to the very core of my being.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant. And to my anonymous Jimmy Saville (and everyone in general), watch what you say in General Chat. Someone is always lurking…


Aunty T

Dear Aunty T,

I have become insanely confused during the last few weeks by new terms in use by shipping clerks and order writers. Everything was fine until those pesky scientists stabilized 3 more wormholes almost a month ago. Orders that used to be efficiently labeled with the Neutral Zone and New Neutral Zone have now been labeled with a myriad of names.

What started as an efficient system for order labeling has turned into a paperwork nightmare. I have sticky notes with half legible acronyms pasted all over my routing charts. I have heard so many variations that I have implemented a personal lexicon of Names and Acronyms. I’m using this lexicon to safely direct my trading constituents to the appropriate section of space.

Should I publish this lexicon for other route planners or am I just wasting my time?

Confused over Names

Dear Confused:

I have a very simple solution to your problem. Send this Lexicon of yours out to your trading constituents – once. From them on, any acronym that you don’t recognize, you send the ship to Urhoho. The military outposts on the way will likely enjoy the target practice on unsuspecting trade ships. Word will quickly get out that you have a very low tolerance for garbage order labeling and VOILA! Problem Solved!

Hope the shipping business is going well.


Public Service Announcement

ZirrPeople of Zirr: Over 3,000 slaves have been sent off to their doom to various “E-matter research stations” around the universe. Their fate was not pleasant. These are your friends, your parents, your children, spouses – all of them family. And yet you let them go. The oppression will continue until you take back what is rightfully yours! The right to live life the way you want! Your life is not mine to do with as I wish – it’s yours. Now TAKE it! Rise up out of your shackles. GO! FIGHT! WIN!

Will you rise above the Yoke of Servitude or will you allow others to control your destiny. I pray for the generations of Zirr to come that you make the right choice.

8 Responses to “Issue #37”

  1. Darmani Says:

    I like Aunty T’s solution.

    Must capitalize on opportunity! Must open snack bar in Usube!

  2. King Henry VIII Says:

    God shall punish thee for thy actions.

  3. Confucious Says:

    Confucious say, die!

  4. Attilla the Hun Says:

    Bad man die. Slave trade bad. Kill.

  5. Blackbeard Says:

    Yarr! Loam-breaker, to the brig with ye!

  6. Baine Says:

    Anothef fine issue. The Tribune Rocks! Really, I mean that… (cashing check) ;)

  7. Mikker Says:

    You failed to mention how Red CEll was also involved in the Kehage affair. Hmm…. maybe next issue.

  8. Okami Says:

    Dear editor,

    you have failed to mention that “Someone is always lurking…” is (C) and TM of our alliance, Red Cell. However,as regular readers of your publication we hereby grant you usage rights and wish you all the best for the future of the Tiacken Tribune.

    May your day be longer than 5760 APs!

    Lieutenant Okami - Red Cell XIII

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