The Tiacken Tribune

VICTORY IS OURS!

Citizens of Tiacken:

Note the sky is a bit brighter this morning. It will get brighter each and every morning until every last taint of the Shadow is gone! Apparently the Shadow felt that Nathan was not moving fast enough, not strong enough, or not moving in the right direction and one Nathan Forester disappeared into the shadow from whence he came. No, there will be no body to burn, no pleas for mercy, no prisoner to stone or behead, no body to watch the vultures pick at for days at a time, no body to drag through the streets in a joyous celebration of independence, but that does not make our victory any less a VICTORY!

There are several lessons to be learned through this ordeal that need to be taken to heart. The weak in the Neutral Zone are there to be preyed upon by the strong. We cannot allow this to happen again. Prepare and strengthen yourselves – so that the next would be ‘emperor’ finds the same fate as our ‘shadow’ emperor. Be vigilant and watchful, the next one is likely right around the corner.

Long have I awaited this day – the day that I can retire as part of the Tiacken Underground and can once again walk the streets as a free man!

LONG LIVE TIACKEN!!

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Power Vacuum in the Neutral Zone

Did you feel an irresistible urge to head towards the Neutral Zone last week? If you felt it, you are one of many as the Neutral Zone took a double whammy last week in terms of power shifts. I’m not even sure which one created more of a stir to tell you the truth. The first one, of course, was the wormhole stabilization and the doubling of the size of the Neutral Zone. That’s a lot of new ground to cover and alliances and individuals alike have been scrambling to place their flag and get themselves a prime piece of real estate. However, also last week, rumors began to spread that the Shadow herself had become unhappy with one Nathan Forester and had swept him into her embrace. The rumor spread rapidly and eventually proven true that Nathan had disappeared. Without the leader head, alliances around the Neutral Zone are heralding the potential for new life in the Neutral Zone.

Notably, two different organizations have been created to help order the chaos within the Neutral Zone. The first one is the Pheonix Republic. Originally created by Dreamwalker, it is the goal of the Pheonix Republic to establish a union of sectors in the northern Neutral Zone with a common goal of peace and prosperity under the guidance of a Republic Council. The idea has met some resistance so far, but many alliances have given some initial support to the idea.

The other group that has been established in the vacuum is the Zenith Consortium. Attempting to find a middle path between a monarchy and a true republic, the ZC attempts to create stability within the Neutral Zone that they feel has been lacking. In contrast to the Republic, the ZC feels a smaller, more organized group would make more impact. Originally composed of The Guild, Sindarian Trade Society, and Revenant Squadron, the idea behind the ZC is to unite the Neutral Zone under one cohesive rule. Needless to say, there is bound to be some conflict between these two groups in the upcoming months. It will be interesting to see how it plays out.

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Public Service Announcement (by Rhope)

As a condition of my plea agreement with Federation Security forces I submit this public service announcement to warn all pilots of Pardus about the dangers of flying while under the influence of drugs. First let me present a transcript of my interrogation so the readers will have some understanding of how this all came about:

#Begin Transcript

Federation Officer: So Rhope, we discovered a large quantity of drugs in your hold, do you have anything to say for your self?

Rhope: I don’t know what you are talking about!

Federation Officer: Those containers, right over there, found on your ship? The ones overflowing with narcotics?

Rhope: Ohh… those drugs, they aren’t mine. I was just holding them for someone.

Federation Officer: When we found you, you were attempting to smoke them.

Rhope: Yah… my toilet was clogged.

Federation Officer: YOU WERE TRYING TO SMOKE ALL THIRTY TONS!!

Rhope: But I didn’t inhale.

#End Transcript

So folks, please remember, friends don’t let friends pilot under the influence of drugs. It is just too dangerous. Now someone hand me a bottle of Liquor, it’s a long flight back to the Sol prison colony.

Disclaimer:
The Tiacken Tribune would like to remind pilots that while it is legal to pilot while consuming Liquor in Pardus there are some dimensions where this is prohibited. Please check with your dimensional authority and abide by all laws and regulations.

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AGONY AUNT

Dear Aunty T,

I’m a popular crab among my friends but when ever I try to tell them about how good sythetically stuffed pillows are they all shout at me and call me a Space Weasel!

Now I like my Synthetic pillows - who’d want to sleep on something stuffed with feathers from some creature that urrgghh - It sends a shiver through my shell even to think about it.

So Aunty T how do I convince my friends that Synthetic pillows are best and get them to stop calling me a space weasel?

I need your help I’m really down about this right now I just want people to like me and my synthetic pillows.

Yours

Annonymous of the Synthetic Pillows United Defence Society (S.P.U.D.S.)

Dear S.P.U.D.S.:

You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, and I do hope your grandcrab doesn’t hear you talking like this… she would clip you round the leg for such nonsense.

I mean really, you should be using micro-bacteria to clean the inside of your shell. If you do it at least once a week you will find you shell not only clean and fresh, but also comfortable for sleeping in. All Ska’ari are taught this at a young age, and I would expect you to know better.

I do hope you haven’t been speaking to those Human traders in Sol have you? Be very wary. Those smiles are not smiles of kindness, but smiles of greed. And if anyone suggests that gloves would be a good idea, I would make sure you leave that trade establishment immediately!!

If you are having problems with the micro-bacteria you can talk to any qualified Ska’ari doctor… some genetic strains are better for some of us than others.

I do hope this helps, and I hope you see the foolishness of your ways before it becomes too late.

Aunty T

P.S. For annonymous medical advice concerning micro-bacteria and ichy shell syndrome please contact 050-555-3490-6. All calls are dealt with in the utmost of confidentiallity.

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Bleeding Turns

Like any starbase, Tribune HQ produces energy given it receives food and water. The goal of my starbase is simply to break even. So I setup prices on food, water, and energy to reach that magical break-even point. Using local prices, traders in the area make a decent (not great) profit going both directions doing the food, water, energy (FWE) runs. Watching some of the trading patterns of traders in the area, I’m finding that traders drop off food and water, leave without buying energy, then come back and sell MORE food and water.

Nearly every game has a limited resource of some type, whether it be money, time, space, or what have you. In Pardus, the resource is turns. The objective is to maximize what you can do with the number of turns you have in a given day. To everyone out there, make sure you maximize your turns. Doing food/water runs to a SB, make sure to bring energy back on the return trip. Running missions, look ahead to see what the next stop is. Starbases not on your normal trade pattern will likely always need food and water and will appreciate you filling your remaining hull space and dropping it off – same works with energy on most planets. In addition, you’ll make some extra credits along the way and the gratitude of starbase owners! (don’t think I don’t notice when you drop off food and water…)

The jist of what I’m getting at? If you have a choice of selling energy back to a planet at some profit versus selling NOTHING at no profit, it always makes sense to sell something. Maximize those turns and trade smart. Your wallet will thank you.

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VIP Missions

There’s been an increasing fad lately of important and wealthy members of society wanting their children to experience life through the eyes of a combat fighter. As such, they are willing to spend big bucks to send their sons and daughters out on trips with fighters who intend and doing a bit of hunting. When the trip is completed, the fighter returns, gets paid, and the VIP goes home with stories of ‘conquest’, ‘destruction’, and ‘firepower’.

However, the idea has not panned out as well in practice as it did in theory. Several VIP’s have been lost in the line of duty to unforeseen circumstances. Some fighters try to impress the VIP’s and get in over their heads or push their luck one enemy too many (dying to a MEASLY ESD for instance…), some run out of fuel and are picked off by opportunist pirates, and others find themselves and the VIP out of range at pickup time. While it’s just a part of life for the pilot, VIP’s are often traumatized and the list of complaints coming into Imperial and Federation offices are crippling normal operations. High level officers are contemplating what to do with the new offerings.

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Campaign Against Stupid Harriers

Looking to see the Harrier eliminated? Don’t have the credits to outfit your very own Harrier Hunter but still want to see them extinct? Just want to give to a worthy cause? If so, then join the ranks of thousands who have given to the Campaign Against Stupid Harriers. As a longtime member, I can personally vouch for the success of this anti-Harrier organization. With dozens of sector chapters across the universe, the Campaign Against Stupid Harriers works hard to make sure this ship is decommissioned both voluntarily and involuntarily. Every month the local chapters hold a Pelican party to celebrate the loss of more Harriers for the month. The parties have gotten bigger and more successful each month. Interested? If so, send your check or money order to the Tiacken Tribune payable to CASH.

You’ll be glad you did.

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Launch Ball (inspired by Tsereve and Perseus)

A new sport has emerged recently in the Neutral Zone and towards the Fringes of Federation and Imperial space called Launch Ball. Two pilots arm their ships with magnetic scoops filled with ore and meet each other on either side of a wormhole. A reinforced escape pod is launched through the wormhole and the objective is to pound the escape pod back and forth through the wormhole using the magnetic scoop. Scoring goes as follows:

Missing the ‘ball’ – opponent gets 1 point
Missing the ‘ball’ but the ball gets damaged by a star, asteroid, or other obstacle – 5 points
Each time the ‘ball’ takes wormhole damage – last person to hit the ball gets 3 points
Person to hit the ‘ball’ into the wormhole and destroys it – 10 points

The game continues until the ball is destroyed, and the opponent with the most points wins. Several variations have appeared recently including sending known criminals into the ‘ball’, having ‘sudden death’ contests where the ‘ball’ is filled with explosives, and timed variations of the game, of the ball leaving the arena, and even team games.

While many people enjoy the game, local traders are having more and more difficulty making their way along their routes without delays at wormholes of traders playing Launch Ball. Several incidents have already resulted in the destruction of ships as traders trying to get through have destroyed the ball on their way through the area. Players are generally not amused. Local governments are up in arms over what to do with this unregulated game of Launch Ball.

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ORB

The Organization of Ruling Bodies is a newer alliance based out of the new Rashkir sectors of Episilon Indi and Phekda. ORB believes in a peaceful existence stating they will not invade others as well as not tolerate invasion by others. ORB acts as an agent for participating sectors, and says to come to aid those that come under attack. Membership for this new organization has grown faster than most new alliances making it a noticeable achievement. How well ORB establishes itself within the new Rashkir area remains to be seen, but the Tribune wishes them luck.

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“X”ing the X-993’s!

Imperial and Federal space martials went into high gear this week working to eliminate the X-993 squads from faction space. While well equipped fighters enjoyed the sparring matches with these pests, most low and mid level traders gave these squads a wide clearance. In some areas, the squads blocked major trading lanes pushing traders into energy fields to move on towards their destination. Space martials finally received enough complaints that they were forced into action. After a lengthy and financially costly battle the martials were able to push these X squads out of faction space. Researchers of the X-993 Squad phenomena noted that the X-993 squads were dispersed relatively quickly and easily, despite the troubles local militas had. Whether this had something to do with the emergence of the X-993 Mothership, something unseen that attracts X-993 squads in the Neutral Zone, or whether it’s simply a nautral thing has yet to be determined. One thing is for sure. With the emergence of the Mothership, faction militias are definitely on the lookout for a concentrated X-993 attack some time in the future.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 6th, 2005 at 12:00 am and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.