The Tiacken Tribune

It figures…as soon as the Tribune finds a new home, our insurance comes through. We now, officially, have 2 forums. As rumors persist regarding the discovery of alternate realities, the Tribune plans to dedicate one server to news from our own universe (Orion), and explore the possibilities of dedicated coverage of an alternate reality (rumored to be known as the Artemis universe). Please stay tuned to *both* channels, as the news will begin to differ as exploration occurs.

The Tiacken Tribune is proud to present our first point/counterpoint. Readers should be aware that the Tribune does not necessarily endorse any of the views published herein. Now, enjoy!

Pelican or Pelican’t: 2 opinions

Point - Teh Harrier Roxors My Soxors (random noob)

Oh man, the Harrior is soo COOL. I mean, like, it gots lots lots of missiles! I love fighting those crystal thingies with it. I die, but it is so cool. I am getting so good with it, I think I can pwn CASH with this ship *gazes lovingly at Harrier*

Oh, I mean, like, I do lose some muney when I die, but I just trade to get it back. I love killing those maggots and selling that red thingy they give in black market, it fetches a good price!!! I don’t know why that federation thingy bountied me tho, it is SOOOO unfair :( :(

Counterpoint - No (C.A.S.H. representative)

No…Just No.

DABOO Corporation closes off Imperial Sectors - IG and donkeys reportedly separated (The Informant).

Per the official announcement by Umballer, DABOO president:

“(…)Today, Daboo Corporation undertook its largest project in the history of the company. It placed armed Military Outposts around its main sectors of Quana, Phicanho, and Iceo, protecting the sectors from price-gouging and pirates. We are proud to announce that during today’s construction, the process went uninterrupted and the Military Outposts were erected efficiently and effectively. (…)

Not to worry, though. Achieving passage through Daboo territory is simple. All one must do, is read and agree to the Passage Policy. (…)

Please note that we will also be allowing many major Imperial alliances to have access. If you are an alliance diplomat, please do contact Umballer to make sure your alliance can have passage when Saturday comes. (…)

Pirates and anti-Imperials need not apply for passage; they will be rejected without second thought. (…)

For the Emperor!”

Response to this was mixed.

Many people felt affronted by this measure: “Every MO is a threat to the freedom of all Pardusians” , “It’s probably just a waste of money and materials.” “I’m sure the other factions are rejoicing in this news. The more Empire sectors that limit recruits from advancing in the Imperial military, the better the other factions will fare from future Imperial aggression.”, have been some of the concerns voiced.

However, many supporters of this measure say, among other things: “An increase in inner security system would make it even more difficult to attack the Empire”, and “As long as I get access to my old home I don’t see any problems, Quana and Picanho could be great again with the right management. I hope to be seeing both of them back on the top 20 list”, “What’s wrong with impeding people who are going to shoot you down or telerob you or cause other troubles? Surely you don’t invite people to kill you for fun…”

The Tribune will keep readers posted on any other moves by DABOO Corporation, and will refrain to comment on the Military Outpost usefulness… However, it is a clear fact that several Imperial sectors have now gained extra protection in case of war, which makes us wonder if the recent war, and subsequent core invasions, was the cause of this announcement.

As for the Imperial Guard…well…the Tribune is working diligently to reunite them with their special friends….

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Flight School is selecting new Flight Instructors (Crashtest Mike)

In today’s news, “Crashtest” Mike, the most senior flight instructor at the Flight School (also known as the tutorial course) disclosed that the school is looking for new Flight Instructors (also known as Guides).

“It’s not like we’re asking anybody to apply”, he says, “it’s just that we’ve got 15 vacated chairs, and it would be nice to have more people working here, especially with the growing influx of new candidates for a flight certificate.”

He notes that nobody should apply for those vacancies: “Man, the worse thing you can do is to ask for a place in our School. That shows you’re impatient, which is not a valued quality here. Spamming our channels with these sorts of applications will show immaturity and might be punished with a suspension of your license.”

However, he says, efforts are being made to fill those vacancies: “The Galactic Council and their reps are already considering a few candidates, from what I hear. They’re looking for kind, smart, helpful, meaningful and funny people, who can be trusted with the responsibility of graduating our new pilot generations.” By meaningful, he explains, “I don’t mean people should start censoring others or trampling the known hierarchies, but that they shold try to make something meaningful and different, to leave a positive mark and show experience without flaunting it.”

The Tiacken Tribune would like to remind readers that the Flight Instructor Job is a voluntary job, with no payment save that of the fun you have and the joy in having and fulfilling responsibilites.

The Money Shot…erm…yeah… (Starman)

That’s right, another Pardus-wide lottery has been announced today, but can it prove to be successful? The organiser, The Gingerbread Man (famous for dropping in and out of his retirement home on a very frequent basis), certainly thinks so.

The history of Pardus lotteries is an ugly one. Pulsar ran the first major Pardus-wide lottery - he successfully gained the trust of the public through one successful lottery, and then used his ill-gotten gains from the second (unsuccessful, from the punters’ perspective) lottery to fund his retirement home. More recently, the pilot Bryan (you may not be surprised to hear that before he left his retirement home, had his name changed and underwent extreme surgery - he was known as Pulsar), again failed to deliver the prizes from a Pardus-wide lottery.

Will Pardusians be so trusting again? Evidently TGM recognises the issue of trust, as one of the first points he makes is that “P.O.R.N. is a trustworthy alliance” and they will not “swindle” us out of our hard earned credits.

But will the public take his word for it, or will they fear that their cash will be paying for his next retirement home? This reporter expects success, as the monetary rewards always tend to tempt even the most untrusting. After all, for just 50,000 credits you can win up to 4 million, and this get-rich-quick mentality appeals to all - it can mean a fighter pays his bills, or a trader gets those extra building defences he always wanted - expect speedy ticket sales at a homeworld near you!

Coming Soon

The Official Tiacken Tribune Top 100 Pardus Pilots - Did you make our list?!?