The Tiacken Tribune

Nebulosa threaded his way through Federation Space. Rumors had been pouring in from the frontier of pilots vanishing into nothingness. Many rumor-mongers were blaming the recent scientific stabilization developments that promised the recovery of lost colonies in the legendary Pardus cluster. A bio scavenger loomed in front of Nebulosa’s ship. He obliterated it, barely noticing the congratulatory message from GNN noting that he had killed 10 of the beasts. There were bigger fish to fry. If the rumors turned out to be true this time, Nebulosa wanted to be on the front lines. Congratulations, Nebulosa, on your continued success in the destruction of the verminous Bio-Scavenger. The Tribune joins its brother news source, GNN, in wishing you continued success in the hunting and eradication of these creatures.

1,000 tons of medical supplies recalled…blame for Waayan placed squarely on manufacturer!

After running the story last week about the epidemic on Waayan, the Tribune did some serious digging. It turns out that the company responsible for shipping medical supplies to Waayan knowingly sent large doses of placebo drugs. Their reasoning – Admiral Zeris caught a cold and all of the federation resources were needed to rectify the situation. The Admiral blames the lousy medical coverage on his untimely demise at the hands of a z-16 drone, saying that if his eyes hadn’t been watering, he might have hit it a few times. The Tribune wishes Admiral Zeris a speedy recovery, and better luck against the drones in the future.

Scandal in the NZ!

Walkingrazor, one of the Tribune’s newest staff members, was a victim of a hit and run early this week. Walkingrazor had visited the human core, where he used his sizeable Tribune income to purchase an antique Porsche star runner. No sooner had he docked his new classic ride than it was beat with a bat by a Rashkir sporting a pink Mohawk. The Rashkir made a clean getaway, but unconfirmed sources claim that they saw Mortimer throwing a suspiciously bright-pink wig into the trash a few minutes later. Is this incident a mere prank or a sign of internal strife in Scorpion Guard? Only time will tell.

Classifieds:

Looking for a Gauntlet. Please send me your offers. – Eldritch

Lonely human slaver seeks companion (FS – female ska’ari) for intimate walks on the beach, and eventual candlelit dinner. Must enjoy Pardus history, literature, and drawn butter. – Anonymous

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