Issue #61
Monday, April 10th, 2006Matrix Breaking Alliance Broken
TheOne created a new alliance last week called the Matrix Breaking Alliance. Apparently TheOne had enough of the matrix and was determined to do what he needed to do to break the Matrix, once and for all. A few Empire fringe extremists have continually tried to prove that life in the galaxy is nothing more than 1’s and 0’s but have, to date, had no success. It looks like TheOne whole heartedly bought into this theory.
Unfortunately, we’ll never discover his findings as shortly thereafter, he ‘flew’ his ship into a nearby sun taking the Matrix Breaking Alliance with him. Conspiracy theories abound as to why he did it. Was the pressure of leading an alliance simply to much pressure? Maybe he couldn’t handle the pressure of being TheOne. Or maybe he learned something about the Matrix he simply couldn’t handle? Or maybe the Matrix decided to end a potential threat before it grew unstoppable? While investigations are ongoing, we’ll likely never know the true answer. The little evidence in the case gives each side a version that supports their view.
Conlfict Over!
After a full week of intense conflict, horrible deaths, and massive collateral damage, the private conflict between Launches Pasifist Alliance and the Triad is over. Members of the Triad are happy that Launch finally came to his senses and ended the non-stop slaughter of Triad territory. With the continued escalation of violence, it would only have been a matter of time before the entire Federation Core would have been ripped into waves of fire and chaos.
**** This just in, it seems my sources were a tad off. There wasn’t actually any intense conflict, horrible deaths, massive collateral damage, non-stop slaughter, or escalation of violence. It seems the conflict was ACTUALLY another administrative mistake made by an intern working at Fed HQ for minimum wage. The mistake was finally found and reversed. The Tribune apologizes for any misinformation.
The Wedding
I’m not exactly sure WHY I received this wedding invitation. I don’t know either party all that well but who am I to pass up a chance for free drinks. (The invitation DID say open bar…) And so I found myself on… on… well, hell, I don’t remember where the wedding was, but that’s not important. With my previous appointment running long, I showed up a tad late to the wedding, and I am very, VERY happy I did. I entered at the back to find that this ceremony was being performed by Minimal Bob. He was, of course, depanted. This, in and of itself, should have been enough to make me run, but there were just so many things naturally wrong here that I couldn’t look away. It’s like a train wreck. You know you should look away, you know it’s the right thing to do, but you just can’t!
It seems that Ichjibijiba, a female Human from the Scorpion Guard was in a depanted marriage ceremony with Wackojess, a Ska’ari from GUA. So let me get this straight, I was invited to an interspecies depanted wedding ceremony?
I grabbed a bottle of liquor on the way out. My goal? To forget I ever saw this.
While I don’t remember exactly what happened, members of TST said I was found on the shores of Tiacken, spent a few days in detox, and shouted out about breaking laws of nature…
Here’s good luck to the happy couple…
Purchase of Legion Enclave
Legion Enclave was formally purchased by TST this week from Ruby Legion. Previously on a long term loan, the situation of the local environment made it unwise for Dmitriy to take back ownership of Legion Enclave. Ska’ari aboard Legion Enclave were ecstatic to hear that Dmitriy was returning to the station and crowded around him like their savior upon his arrival. Little did they know that it was the beginning of the end. Negotiations for the stations were long and laborious. Dmitriy was always good to his people, and his clause that Ska’ari remain on the station in their current capacity cost him literally millions in the potential purchase price. But Dmitriy was good to his word and a deal was struck. Excited Ska’ari gathered around as Dmitriy announced the ‘good’ news. The heart break from each and every Ska’ari was absolutely outstanding.
Dmitriy didn’t know it, but he had the making of a Slaver. I’d never seen that severe of pain delivered to that large a group of Ska’ari in such a short amount of time – ever. I discovered that there was still much to learn about delivering pain.
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FHA Secret Lands
A recent post from FHA senior officials piqued my interest this week:
“FHA proudly announces to have found the Secret Lands.
Only the most wise members of the FHA know where they are located and how they look like. Magnificent, marvelous, fantastic come close to the right description, but you can’t tell it in words - you have to see them.
If you want to have access to those Lands, you’ll need to join FHA and invest much, much time in studies. We’ll provide you a place to study, trade and live in the actually known lands - Tau Ceti, Vewaa, Wolf and Waayan.
When you’ll be considered ready, we’ll share our secret with you.
PS: Don’t ask for the secret, we will never tell you and even deny the existence of the Secret Lands. When you’ll be ready, you’ll get to know soon enough. The path of wisdom is a long path, be patient.
PPS: This is really exceptional that we share the existence of those Lands with the all Pardusian pilots (at least those who can read and do read), but we wanted to give you the opportunity to choose the path that leads to the Secret Lands.”
Having been part of the FHA senior leadership at one time, I have to admit I was curious. Was this just a teaser to get people interested in FHA? Does FHA have a ‘protected’ area that nobody knows about? Is there something outside the ‘universe’ that FHA is privy to? I’m not quite sure. But it’s time to go do some digging. ;)
Determination
Eldrioth is back in the news this week after the destruction of Funkypunkid’s brewery in Delta Pavonis. As we all know, Eldrioth thoroughly enjoys trekking the universe to destroy bountied buildings. Funky sent me a PM describing the determination with which Eld pursues his goal.
It seems that Funky thought he would be able to outlast Eldrioth in a game of attrition. Eldrioth would attack the brewery removing the modules and then go off to collect turns. Funky would come along and repair the building. Eldrioth would come along again and destroy the defenses, Funky would come along and repair. The cat and mouse game went on for a matter of three days before Eldrioth was able to catch Funky while he was sleeping, destroy the building, and collect the bounty. According to Eldrioth – justice was finally served.