Archive for March, 2006

Issue #57

Monday, March 6th, 2006

Gladiatorial Games (ManualRage)

This was a week of sadness, pain and suffering. For the slaves that is!

This week was the week of the first TST Gladiatorial Games. These were held in the dark corners of Lahola 1 where the slavers trained or whipped the slaves into fitness.

The slavers all reunited in a secret location guarded by TST’s very own Prophet – a 6’7” hard man always ready for a fight in or out of his PASC. Rumors also persist that very special guest security was brought in for the event…

For the inaugural tourney, TST decided to use the local race, the Ska’ari. Each slaver chose a slave to save from the grisly death awaiting them in the “rehabilitation camps” and thrust those fortunate few into a fighting pit instead. The winner of the event would receive the lion’s share of a 2.4 million-credit pot with the winner receiving 1.92M (80%) and the runner-up 480k (20%). A few of the high-level slavers could sponsor 2 slaves. Each slave cost 200,000 credits to sponsor.

So, I decided to go down to the Slave Pits and try to get an interview with a fellow competitor. I was lucky to find a slaver named “Eldritch” sitting on a bench looking angry so I decided to have a chat with him. Eldritch, however, is no ordinary slaver – he is the Overseer of the TST, second in command to Brackard. He was watching a small group of Ska’ari scuttle around the ring, snapping weakly at each other. I chose a momentary break in the action (when one of the slaves was being treated for a cut) to speak.

“Hello Eldritch. How do you do this fine day?”

Eldritch looked at me, and then back to the ring. “Fine.”

I chose another tact: “So what have you name these incompetent pieces of dirt?”

This time Eldritch’s glance spoke deeply of contempt for my question. “These incompetent pieces of dirt are willing to fight and die for a chance at life. That’s more than most beings in this universe can say. My first slave is named Bucky, in honor of a friend. And my second is called Minos.”

Apparently Eldritch wasn’t as brutal as we had been led to believe during slaver orientation. “What was your reason for entering this tourney? For the cash or the fun of whipping slaves and watching them beat themselves to death?”

“I took part in this tournament because I wanted to see the slaves rise above their mean pasts and succeed, or die in the attempt. These tournaments embody all of the virtues of TST – slaves are forced to fight for their freedom. I will not whip my slaves in this tournament, as I find that the lash discourages potential fighters.”

“Well if I were you I would have whipped them into shape. Have you put your cheating days behind you? You and I both know…as well as a few poor and dead people you have done it in the past.”

“What you do with your slave is your business. I’ve never cheated at anything in my tenure as a slaver! That being said, I do have a few tricks up my sleeve…”

“And one last question before I go. Do you think your pieces of dirtiness and poverty have a chance in these games?”

Eldritch looked at me once more. The contempt in his eyes was amply clear. “My slaves definitely stand a chance. They are being well fed and watered, and unlike some of you others, I have brought in some of the best trainers in the galaxy to aid in their fighting education. We’ll see you in the ring.”

Eldritch looked back to his slaves. I was dismissed, so I left the Slave Pits and watched the first few matches.

Matches

Match #1

This match featured crabface and Hitman, two junior slavers with good potential. Being a crab seemed to allow Crabface to better work with Ska’ari. The results showed in the ring as Crab’s Ska’ari did what it needed to do in order to win. Hitman’s Ska’ari seemed to be confused as to what was going on. I believe Hitman was more interested in eating his Ska’ari than actually training it to fight. We’ll see what happens next fight.

Match #2

This match was a mismatch from the beginning. Thales - a pirate of old with experience pouring from his pores against ManualRage, a new entrant into the slaving arena. You could tell by the slaves that were put into the pit. Thales’ was ready to go, MR’s was half-beaten to death already. The match was short and sweet with the killer instinct forced into Thales’ Ska’ari quickly bringing this match to an end. The sounds of Manual Rage beating the dead carcass of his gladiator could be heard long after the match was over.

Match #3

This clearly one-sided match was over before it started. The removal of eye stalks followed quickly by the removal of pincers led Brack’s Ska’ari to toy with the defeated Scuttles’ for the rest of the match.

Match #4
Billed as one of the better matches between two senior TST members, this match didn’t disappoint - well, it was as exciting as Ska’ari matches can be anyway…. However, the questionable methods of Eldritch paid off as his gladiator pincered and scuttled his way to a victory.

Match #5

In an extremely long and boring fight. Corba’s “Fluffy” finally outlasted Prophet’s gladiator. The contest ended after regulation in by determining which Gladiator could avoid the electric tiles in the floor of the arena. Prophet’s got unlucky and TST had cooked Ska’ari for dinner.

Match #6

The final match of the round between Eldritch’s second gladiator and Elona’s ended pretty sourly. While Elona’s Ska’ari seemed to have the upper hand early, a Ska’ari twitch hit Elona’s in the second half of the match leading to its downfall. Rumors persist that Eldritch put something into Elona’s Ska’ari feeding, but no proof has been found. Until then, it looks like Eldritch will have two Ska’ari advancing to the middle round.

Well that was the report of the first few rounds.

Round 2 commenced with these slavers still in the tournament:

Brackard
Corba
Crabface
Eldritch – 2 Gladiators.
Thales

Match #7

A nasty case of the Ska’ari flu saw the beginning of the end of this fight. Despite Thales’ best efforts at ‘convincing’ his slave to fight, the energy just wasn’t there and crabface’s Ska’ari cruised into an easy victory. Thales’ Ska’ari found it’s way to the airlock where it was…disposed of.

Match #8

Definitely one of the better matches to date as the Ska’ari of the TST leaders paired off. The fight was vicious and close, but Eld’s Ska’ari was able to separate the pretender from the real thing. We look forward to see if he can keep it up.

Match #9

Another extremely tight match as Eldritch’s second contestant fought his way through Corba’s “Fluffy” in a nail bighter. Claws clacked, vents hissed, and the Ska’ari mumbled incomprehensibles to each other until Corba’s Fluffy finally went down.

However the game wasn’t quite over. It seems that Eldritch had applied an unconventional posion to his Ska’ari’s claws that weakens the contender. After a brief intermission, “Fluffy” was revived, patched up, and tossed back in the ring for round 2. And Fluffy, as it turns out, was pissed. Without the aid of the weakness poison, Fluffy attacked with a vengeance. Eldritch’s Ska’ari fought back valiantly, but it wasn’t quite enough and Fluffy proved victorious.

So it came down to the final….A three way match with very strong ruthless and well trained Ska’ari slaves. There was only one thing to say.

LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!!

The Final

An ugly 3-way fight on all fronts. Crabface’s contender got double-teamed early, crippling him and knocking him out for the fight. Eldritch’s Ska’ari seemed tired and Corba’s crab went in for the kill - but Crabface’s Ska’ari wasn’t quite out yet as it grabbed “Fluffy” and momentarily immobilized it. That was all Eld’s Ska’ari needed as it dove in took out the surprised Fluffy.

So Eldritch won the match. He went to the Lahola 1 dock and jumped into his Hawk gleefully. He had won 1.92M. Wow. What a prize for a few days work. He came away with just under 5x what he had entered with. Meanwhile Corba was extremely happy coming away with over 2x what she had entered and came naway with cash and fame.

Preliminary indications suggest that TST is planning on taking a version of the gladiatorial games public. The Tribune has been informed that if it happens, it will be a “by invitation only” event. The Tribune looks forward to seeing what happens in the next tournament!


The fate of Daaya

DaayaFor a long time, a well-coordinated team of pirate drug lords have kept their reign of terror over the North Neutral Zone. Operating under no alliance, they were named after their home sector. They are the Daayans.

Recently, it was discovered that several groups of Daayans were in reality merely animations of a few extradimensional beings. These Animaters became overloaded trying to maintain all these pilots, and soon all references to their animations vanished.

Unfortunately for the Daayans,one of those vanished pilots was the legal owner of the Military Outposts guarding their nook. Within minutes, tax collectors arrived to collect the “death tax,” which consisted of all the raw materials the collectors could get their hands on. At first the MO managers refused, but when the collectors threatened to lease massive space artillery cannons from the Federation, the managers were obliged to comply.

Within hours, swarms of enemies to the Daayans, as well as anti-drug crusaders swarmed into Daaya. Raiding tons of valuable commodities, depsite many buildings having dissapeared, they encountered little resistance. Few buildings went unraided, and even those ones encountered some looting. For example, one Ore Mine was caught selling its ample supply of gems for nothing. Meanwhile, in nearby Laedgre, citizens swarmed the space ports trying to get their hands on the cheap electronics, robots, and metal being dumped on them.

Overall, it was a great victory for freedom.


Announcements:

We here at the Tribune would like to give three cheers for Atrellium. You may remember hearing about the admiral in the news recently. And for the first time in his illustrious career with the Federation, Atrellium has killed a swarm of bees…. am I reading that correctly? Bees? Bloody bees? The highest-ranking pilot in the Federation was sent to kill bees? From Z-16’s to energy bees….Huh…. not a typo, he did in fact… kill… bees. Congratulations, um, Admiral. We wish you the best of luck in the future and continued success in hunting these… bees.

In other news, in response to the demise of Cassandra Aegwynn, a group of misguided fanatics is planning on flying a “missing man formation” in HO 2-296. The Tribune has recently come into possession of several of Cassandra’s poems, and will be auctioning them to the highest bidder now that she has passed. Interested parties should contact the Tribune staff. While the Tribune will be abstaining from the other festivities, we promise that we will always remember Cassandra as GNN did.

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