Issue #35
Monday, September 19th, 2005Prince Core
The first Prince of the empire was named last week. After who knows how long worth of performing glorious missions for the Empire, Core was finally honored with the rank of Prince. Congratulations from around the Empire flooded Core.
Now while people were happy for Core, people began wondering where he would purchase his brand new Mooncrusher? A 38M credit ship deal doesn’t come along every day (plus however much more in equipment). This was something that SB owners would LOVE to get a piece of! Unfortunately for all would-be ship producers, Sadist Faction has been in the process of producing one for Core for a few weeks now. Construction is well under-way.
Congrats once again to Core!
Speed Racer!
Laws of time and space were being broken one after another last week. After the now infamous ‘dream state’, it seems that space itself became easier to move through for a few days. Pilots everywhere were able to cover double the territory in the same amount of time. It was as if time itself had slowed down but the actions of pilots in space were not affected.
Citizens on planets did not notice any differences, consumption remained the same, buildings produced the same, starbases produced the same, yet traders could provide twice the material. Several planets were able to get days worth of supplies delivered ahead of time. Planets were having trouble figuring out where to put all the excess materials. Most planets are used to having one or two ticks worth of materials in storage but have problems accommodating more material than that. But with the increased speed, traders were able to dump vast quantities of materials on planets.
This was a particular problem at Tau Ceti, where traders dumped enough energy to last over a day. At one point, the traders had the shipping director crying for mercy as more and more energy got shipped onto the planet. The shipping director was actually afraid the energy storage compartments on the planet might explode – causing a global wide energy shortages and unknown environmental problems.
Fortunately, no problems occurred and space flight returned to normal.
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Letters to the Editor:
Dear Editor:
I’d like to express my complete and utter disgust with the actions of a acquaintance of mine. He was a decent enough member of his alliance and contributed every now and then, but then he runs off to start some moronic SLAVE TRADING operation? What’s up with that? I mean… come ON!! And then he plans on moving every few months to keep things new and interesting? Doesn’t he know that’s expensive? Doesn’t he know the slaves will never stop being produced? Doesn’t he know that he’ll have to interact with different people each time he moves? Doesn’t he know that everyone LIKES to do the same thing, day after day, in the same place, over and over again? Doesn’t he know that we’re all here to WORK?
He disgusts me and I hope his plan fizzles.
Disgruntled Acquaintance
Unexplained Appearances
All across the universe last week, pilots woke up one morning to find an unexplained ton of something in their cargo hull. Some woke up with a ton of weapon parts, others – droids, and others less desirable items such as Keldon brains. This reporter woke up with intestines all over the ship. [It took awhile to clean up too – at least I could have received them in one of my LIQUID compartments as opposed to the middle of the hallway – and man did they SMELL!]
I thought it was somebody’s poor idea of a practical joke until news reports came in that this was happening across the entire universe. Even with all the universal rules that seemed to have been bent recently, this was the first report of stuff actually appearing out of thin air – seeing as no single group could coordinate such a practical joke on such a massive scale.
As usual, rumors came out of the woodwork: Everything from it was a test by the Space Weasels, to it was nothing more than a mind trick played by the cybernetic stations, to there’s a tear in the very fabric of space and the end of the universe is close at hand! Seeing as the universe still exists, the Weasels STILL haven’t been spotted, and the cybernetic station (and friends) are behaving no differently than they did last week, it’s a pretty good bet that none of these are correct.
However, if I ever find out who loaded my ship with intestines…
The X-hole
I was at my favorite drinking hole [and no, not the SB&G – couldn’t quite snag a apss this week] when I overheard a conversation at the next table that caught my interest. It seems Gammer was relating a tale regarding an expedition up to Rashkan. Upon entering Rashkan he’d witnessed an armada of “X” ships in the sector including the mothership. The mothership fired some kind of weapon that opened up an X-hole that the armada then proceeded to fly through. Gammer, of course, followed. The X-hole took them to Nex Kattam. He was noticed and fired upon. Not being able to take on an entire X armada, Gammer was smart. He fled.
The rest of the story involved the X armada killing hundreds of shuttles as they all tried to escape the planet of Olphize and Gammer barely making it through the wormhole to safety. I hadn’t heard of any attacks in the Olphize area, and checking with locals in the area, there hadn’t seemed to be any attacks. Gammer may have just been trying to impress his lady-friend he was drinking with.
However, there is generally a bone of truth in every story. And it has to make you wonder – where DID the X hole come from? Is it a coincidence that we have the X-hole, and X-993’s and X-993 Battlecruisers? What would happen if the X-holes WERE actually controlled by the X-armada? Weasels? Bah, we may have a full-on Federation conspiracy cover up here. A full-on artificial intelligence project gone bad. But it makes you wonder. Next time you jump through that X-hole, do you REALLY know who is in control?
Public Service Announcement
Citizens of Zirr. Today is the day. Your day. The first day of deliverance. Make your choice now. Fight against your captors and claim your right to live life as you choose – or accept your fate and die the death of a slave. Decision time is now. For the future generations of Zirr to come, I pray you make the right choice.
The Tiacken Slave Traders are looking for dedicated individuals to help these enslaved planets understand the true meaning of life. Interested in joining the cause? The Tiacken Slave Traders need you.