Issue #22
Monday, June 20th, 2005Hunting in Paradise – for a Price
In Fed space, there’s a dragon den in Lalande. Like all dragon dens, the den is full of young and elder space dragons (YSD, ESD), all protecting the space dragon queen (SDQ). The den is a popular hunting spot because of its central location and proximity to local repair facilities. Beta Proxima is often quite a busy place. An entrepreneurial Federation Fighter, Gorath, decided to take advantage of the situation. Placing a military outpost in the middle of the dragon den, Gorath was able to effectively block the queen and her harem (a couple of YSD/ESD) from a majority of the Federation by charging a 100k toll on any wanting to pass. That’s 100k if you want to get in, and another 100k if you want to get out without the use of a cloning service.
Relatively quiet at first, an uproar started pouring in as mission runners were blocked from completing missions due to the cost of the MO. Additionally, many groups were not inclined to accept military outposts in Fed space and implored to Gorath to take it down. As Gorath had put a vast sum of money into the construction of the MO, the thought he would simply ‘take it down’ was not likely. Finally, a group of three well-armed fighters decided enough was enough and armed up for a forceful takedown. However, the MO was a bit better defended than was originally expected with seven avengers and Gorath himself guarding the MO. The attackers did some damage, and took a casualty, but ultimately, the attack was repulsed.
The group, and others besides, have announced that the MO will come down. No formal reply has come back yet from Gorath, but it’s likely he will defend it with as much as he can based on the cost of the MO. Needless to say, we have reporters stationed at the outpost waiting for the fireworks.
Alliances Play “Pass the Buck”
Several alliances saw leadership changes this week. Whether it was coincidence, a lunar eclipse, or something in the water is yet to be determined, but it was out with the old, in with the new. Red Cell changed leadership over to Sheridon, Scorpion handed the reigns back over to Anubis, and The Triad sees new leadership with Mesiam. Why the changes? We shall soon see.
In other alliance news, several new alliances saw creation this week including the Extension Agenda headed up by Xump and The Galactic Empire headed up by Ysanne Isard.
ADVERTISMENT
Have a habit of crashing through space maggots and getting them all over your windshield? Have a hard time scraping off the guts after it has been burnt into the shield by local planet atmospheres? Just want to give your windshield that extra bit of shine? If so, then stop by your local Shop and Drop and pick up a bottle of Molly Muppet’s Master Maggot formula! Molly Muppet’s Master Maggot formula uses a bio-agent that eats through gutted maggots to keep your windshield maggot free. While great as a reactive measure, with regular use – Molly Muppet’s Master Maggot formula will actually create a maggot gut-eating windshield as the bio reagents meld with the molecular structure of your ship. Stop the cursing as you rip through that swarm of maggots. Pick up a bottle today!
Murder on Micanex
A deal gone bad resulted in the death for an illegal trader this week. A Rashkir and Keldon had met on Micanex to arrange the transfer of several tons of body parts. However, when the exchange began, it was realized that the Rashkir was far short of the commonly accepted ‘galactic ton’. Now the Galactic Ton has always taken some time to be adopted to by new races, but after a week or two, it’s generally no longer an issue. Reports have it that the Rashkir used ignorance as his excuse while the Keldon claimed the Rashkir was simply trying to cheat him. The resulting shootout between the two (and their accompanying body guards) resulted in several deaths, including the death of the Rashkir trader himself. Rumor has it that his limbs can be purchased off the black market for a hefty premium.
Aunty T
Dear Aunty T,
Last Great Dev Day, myself and my friends went out for a few drinks to celebrate, we went and watched the burning and BBQ of the Munchkin like all Party go’er’s on Keldon do and had a great time. Problem is I had one to many Bloody Baldur’s and well I ended up very intoxicated. Now I don’t normally drink and fly but those Bloody Baldurs knock you for six…well I woke up with this thumping hangover and no idea what happened.
I didn’t think anything of it these things happen. But last night I was informed about a strange ship seen bumping off planets and MO’s on popular Empi-Vision Channel 574 - Caught on Scanner. Now I’m worried in case my boss sees this and sacks me for being drunk, last person who got a speeding ticket he feed to his pet scorpion - while reciting his latest ad jingle to them! What should I do, I’m really scared. I don’t want my brain turning to dribble. I know I should run but I need to hide. I was thinking about plastic surgery - is it to drastic a step?
Please Help
Scared of Keldon
Dear Scared of Keldon
It would seem that you are in a situation with no way out except to become very friendly with a scorpion, but no fear, if that were the only advice I could give you I would have sent you a small firearm in the post… much quicker that way.
Actually the answer to this little conundrum is really quite simple. It comes from the human psychological thinking of “denial is everything”.
Now if you were a Ska’ari like myself this would be of no use to you, as we have telepathic abilities… but for a Keldon such as yourself this way of thinking should be easy.
The way the thinking goes is like this: just keep saying ‘NO’. If your boss asks if that ships was yours, say ‘NO’. If he asks if you had had too much to drink, say ‘NO’… it is a very simple form of avoiding blame.
If you want more ideas on how to manage this kind of situation, I believe on historical databases from Sol, you can find an old track written by a singer who called himself “shaggy” or something like that. His song is all about denial, and the main chorus is: “It wasnt me!”.
If you would like further details on how to get hold of pre-stella humanoid music feel free to contact “Pre-Stella Purchases” on 0967-9987-0055.
(Disclaimer: lying is a bad thing, and you should never do it unless pet scorpions are involved!)
Building Capacity
With the influx of newer players in Fed space recently, I’ve been asked with some frequency how much capacity should new buildings have? Answers to the question vary widely – but I’ll give my opinion on the subject and you can do with it what you wish!
When looking at capacity of buildings, you really only have to look at which is greater – your outputs or your inputs for every tick. The greater of the numbers is the number we want to play with. Let’s take an example:
Level 3 Space Farm: (output > input)
Inputs: 8 energy, 10 embryos
Outputs: 16 food, 4 water, 2 waste
18 inputs, 22 outputs – magic number is 22
Level 3 Brewery: (input > output)
Inputs: 4 food, 4 water, 4 energy, 8 chems
Outputs: 8 brews
20 inputs, 8 outputs – magic number is 20
Ok – so you have your magic number. This is the multiple you’ll want to use when figuring out your capacity. All we really need to do now is determine how many ticks worth of stock you want on-hand. Personally, I enjoying not being tied down to my buildings so I’ll have my stock setup such that I won’t have to visit my buildings for days. Remember that each building produces 4 times a day, so if you want two days stock, take your magic number and multiply it by 8. For instance, the level 1 brewery above would be stocked for 2 days with only 160 capacity while the farm would need 176. Obviously, as you upgrade production levels, your inputs and outputs go up, so you’ll need more capacity.
Hope this helps all you new building owners out there!
Waste Disposal? At your Service!
Around the universe space farms produce food, water, and, well, bio-waste (or – well, uh, crap). And unless you have a recyclotron around, there is not much you can do with the stuff except dump it or sell it for pennies at the local planet. Occasionally, nearby starbases will sometimes purchase the stuff for cheap. A fellow starbase owner mentioned to me awhile back that he bought as much of the crap as he could find. I asked why? He said because every now and then, the trash man would come along and take out the trash. I looked at him like he was nuts.
And then he explained it to me. By purchasing the crap, you give the space farms a place to sell their waste. Additionally, you give recyclotron owners a place to buy it from. And if you have no recyclotrons in the area, well, then trash men would come. You buy at say 25, sell it at say 50. The trashman purchases at 50, then turns around and sells to the black market at 100 for a 100% profit with 20 turns. Yes, the trash man may get a faction bounty – but if the price is right, and the trash man accepts the fact, well, then more power to them.
So here’s to all the trashmen out there. I salute you!
Wraazer Razing
Wraazer has created a stir up in Rashkir space through a series of attacks, threats, and otherwise generally unsportsmanlike conduct here this week. Needless to say, Wraazer has his work cut out for him as he is a generally unwelcome guest in that part of the universe. Stuffz, POTWOR, ORB, and other individuals and alliances have put him on their hit list and have begun the hunt. Wraazer thinks to be up to the challenge and has begun recruiting like-minded individuals to help him out. Life is definitively going to be interesting for Wraazer here in the near future.
Obituaries
While suicides are relatively common, this last week has seen quite a few relatively high-profile names ‘retire’ from active duty this past week including:
Anubis Kreiger
Stick the God (although rumor has it he’s coming back soon)
Falyn
Delenn
Galvatron
Here’s hoping suicide doesn’t become the new trend among Pardusian residents. Federation and Imperial doctors are passing out heavy doses of anti-depressants to all citizens – just in case.
Galactic Library Destroyed!
A fire this week destroyed a portion of the Galactic Library – especially the portion of the library dedicated to the histories of the planets. Shaelkut has begun an effort (with the support of the Galactic Council) of collecting manuscripts form private collectors across the galaxy. If you’d like to help, find a manuscript regarding a brief history of your planet and forward it to Shalkut. A list of collected manuscripts can be obtained on the main forum to prevent a duplication of effort. Please help in this great effort!